On the vulnerability of Humans

The other day, I starred deeply into the eyes of the ones I love most. I looked closely at the hearts of the ones that raised me. I starred long and hard, like my life depended on it.

All I saw was the frail soul that hid deeply in the hearts of bani Adam.

I was scared, thinking - maybe it was I that encouraged their souls to feel fragile and vulnerable. Blamed myself for not fulfilling my duties as a son.

I starred deeply into the eyes of my sweet sister, the mother of 2 angels, the wife of a pensive man and saw the same.

Vulnerability...

I saw humans who desired protection and wished for ease. I saw humanity's wish for peace and serenity. All I saw was a masked sadness - however, the masked was crumbling, it was made of a material weaker than that of flesh.

The eyes spoke to me, and its silent words sent me into the depth of the coldest waters. I wished for the water to engulf me and send me beyond the borders of this planet of masked and broken souls.

But I realized, I was the water.

I realized - looking deeply into the eyes of my new friend - the young woman who wished for love and confidence - that it was I, starring at myself in the reflection of her glossy eyes. The gloss of sweet tears that covered over the gentle grey colour. The rare colour that a select few are blessed with.

I wished for a will made of steel, I wished and prayed hard - to be a human not bound by the shakles of vulnerability. But I couldn't break free - I will never.

It is my nature, to forever be vulnerable - it is the will of my heart to remain frail.

The quiver of my character that stands tall in the face all those that wish to be like me. It qivered like a leaf...I quiver because I know that in the face of my Lord - I'm just a weak man, aching for a life free of hardship..

But that ship doesnt sail with the wind - it charges at me without mercy.

My only defense is to admit - I am a human, vulnerable and frail; slightly worn and damaged prematurely. At that point, is where I realize without my Creator, I'm just another pound of flesh about to be trampled by the charging ship.

Instead, I ride the ship like an Angel that enshrouds the sky with stunning light.

and I ensure that it is I that uses life, and not life that uses me.

The animal known as the human is born frail and in need of protection - and lives in that state. We just mask it, some do a better job than others.

My job is to take the mask off and embrace it and wish for the protection of my Creator, the one and only Allah.

blessed be my soul - frail and weak, may it forever realize my need for protection.

The Difference between the broad-minded & petty minded

I realize that many humans fail to grasp the big picture. We fail to choose long term goals and instead, focus on satisfying impulse. We choose irrational emotional reactions and fail to reflect before we act.

Not to say that emotional reactions are bad - but treat your emotions with value and express them only when you see the situation worthy of your emotions.

I'm tired of the weak spirited human. The one that choose the glitter of planet earth and neglects the reality of selfless humanism.

The trained human has tamed their soul; a taming that suffocates ill reaction to simple and pointless, words and deeds. The tamed human assess and thinks before moving forward.

The brain is such a beautiful thing; it is the universe that begs to be discovered, it's thoughts and memories are endless and the vast depths you can travel within are sometimes frightening.

Your vessel to travel the mental-universe is your heart - the only thing that could protect your soul from the darkness that sometimes lurks in the vast darkness of the mind.

However, why would someone refrain from using their minds? why are people much more willing to submit to impulse and irrational behaviour? I never understood.

Logic is a beautiful thing, it is my passport to sanity in the psychotic jungle known as society.

I'd rather be a poor man with a mind that could conquer ignorance, than a wealthy man whose will submits to impulse.

These are just my disorganized thoughts.

The Fruits of Wisdom

One evening a Cherokee elder told his grandson
about the battle that goes on inside people.

He said,
“My son, the battle is between the two ‘wolves’ that live inside us all.

One is Unhappiness. It is fear, worry, anger, jealousy, sorrow, self-pity, resentment and inferiority.

The other is Happiness. It is joy, love, hope, serenity, kindness, generosity, truth and compassion. ”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
“Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed”.

To witness the blooming flowers....

Grand, isn't it?

To watch something unfold before your very eyes?
Something that seems so subtle, so natural and profoundly sacred.

To witness it unfold and bloom without the intervention of humanity.
From the bulb - out comes a portrait - one sculpted by the potent phrase "be"...and it became.

Such a portrait is worthy to be seen only by the patient.
For the inpatient cannot bare to watch something take its time and unfold slowly.

The inpatient must see it immediately - so much to the extent that they cannot bare the idea that something hessitates and prepares for its exposure to planet earth.

The inpatient one thrashes at the bulb, some open it gently.
Regardless, they failed to give the bulb the need to open up naturally.

The bulb dies - only to unveil that the hidden portrait within
was too beautiful for the world.
and perished quickly

Some care not.

cursed for life are the inpatient - lost for life are the careless.

Harmony of Mind and Heart

Dear Readers,
As humans, we are obligated to make decisions that are in the best interests of ourselves, and those near and dear in our lives. The decision making process is a tedious one, as we're require to assess the potential outcome. This requires foresight, hindsight and the willingness to accept responsibility if the outcome causes harm, and if good comes from it - to accept it with humility and gratefulness.

We're obliged to weigh the pro's and con's and if the good outweighs the bad - it is in our best interests to follow through.

Much of what I stated above is structured risk taking.

It's pensive intimate discourse. Sometimes it requires "old man" behaviour [sitting around in the quiet focusing on the task at hand] and we usually pair this with seeking advise from those who've made similar decisions.

Sometimes - we just say "f' it" and just do it without the pensive, structured risk taking. This is the risk taking of adrenaline junkies who appreciate the golden feeling of great memories and aged wisdom.

The kind of wisdom we love hearing about. These lessons are the kind that we cannot prepare for. Your only means to gaining from such risks is to supplicate, have confidence and faith.

As a human being, I appreciate the adrenaline rush of a risk. I despise the phrase "what if I did..."

I need to see something through, right till the end.
and so should you.

Sometimes the need to take the risk and see it right until the end comes from two needs. The need to satisfy curiousity and there's this magnetic need to find out. This is usually a byproduct of contradicting thoughts & emotions, some that are generated by the mind & heart and they are at odds.

and the other is a byproduct of "harmony of mind and heart".

Harmony of mind and heart is the weapon of the spiritual warrior. If you ever are in a state where your emotions and rationale are on par with each other - don't waste it.

This is the highest form of confidence - one in which, your capacity to make something work is at its highest and the anxiety of risk isn't there. You may see a potential risk - but it does not hinder your performance.

This is the equivalent of making your soul a freight train.

I want my soul to be a freight train.

nothing stops me, because I am free.
ameen.

The Gift of Anger.

I am not tired, nor am I lazy.
I am not unjust, nor am I blind.
my anger is not a result of instinct.
it is a result of rationale.

I rationalized, thought about and realized that if I wasn't angry about the death of the innocent, I would be well adjusted to a f*cked up society. A society that is ill-prinicpled and self-absorbed and cares only for their wealth.

I am not adjusted to a f*cked up society, I am it's polar opposite;
staring at it;
studying it's every move;
and preparing to enlighten it.

Shedding light on the moral ills of modern humanity, or lack there of.
Telling people they need to be angry, they need to utilize the one gift of sheer rage - at the only thing worthy of anger - oppression.

Politicians staying quiet,
politicians working strictly for votes
bending backwards for a ballot that will probably score them some points for a short period of time,
but eventually that paper ballot is what will choke them when the scent of children's blood doesn't leave their hands.

I am angry,
rightfully
and for the sake of what is just.

One of these days, my anger will manifest - and you will be angry like me.

and we'll bring back humanity together.