Tuesday, December 15, 2009

On the vulnerability of Humans

The other day, I starred deeply into the eyes of the ones I love most. I looked closely at the hearts of the ones that raised me. I starred long and hard, like my life depended on it.

All I saw was the frail soul that hid deeply in the hearts of bani Adam.

I was scared, thinking - maybe it was I that encouraged their souls to feel fragile and vulnerable. Blamed myself for not fulfilling my duties as a son.

I starred deeply into the eyes of my sweet sister, the mother of 2 angels, the wife of a pensive man and saw the same.


I saw humans who desired protection and wished for ease. I saw humanity's wish for peace and serenity. All I saw was a masked sadness - however, the masked was crumbling, it was made of a material weaker than that of flesh.

The eyes spoke to me, and its silent words sent me into the depth of the coldest waters. I wished for the water to engulf me and send me beyond the borders of this planet of masked and broken souls.

But I realized, I was the water.

I realized - looking deeply into the eyes of my new friend - the young woman who wished for love and confidence - that it was I, starring at myself in the reflection of her glossy eyes. The gloss of sweet tears that covered over the gentle grey colour. The rare colour that a select few are blessed with.

I wished for a will made of steel, I wished and prayed hard - to be a human not bound by the shakles of vulnerability. But I couldn't break free - I will never.

It is my nature, to forever be vulnerable - it is the will of my heart to remain frail.

The quiver of my character that stands tall in the face all those that wish to be like me. It qivered like a leaf...I quiver because I know that in the face of my Lord - I'm just a weak man, aching for a life free of hardship..

But that ship doesnt sail with the wind - it charges at me without mercy.

My only defense is to admit - I am a human, vulnerable and frail; slightly worn and damaged prematurely. At that point, is where I realize without my Creator, I'm just another pound of flesh about to be trampled by the charging ship.

Instead, I ride the ship like an Angel that enshrouds the sky with stunning light.

and I ensure that it is I that uses life, and not life that uses me.

The animal known as the human is born frail and in need of protection - and lives in that state. We just mask it, some do a better job than others.

My job is to take the mask off and embrace it and wish for the protection of my Creator, the one and only Allah.

blessed be my soul - frail and weak, may it forever realize my need for protection.

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