Friday, March 09, 2007

Side effects....

You know, when you hold in your tears
and you let out anger....it further sours your heart.
it makes it hard
you become cold
uncaring and rude
I think I fool myself when i say i can take it
I just swallow it, but I'm sure its going to come back to hit me 10 times as hard.
I feel really cold
I feel almost soul-less
man, talk about a trial

Sunday, March 04, 2007

If there's gonna be a revolution, it's gotta start in your bedroom

Change is not easy.
Breaking bad habits is war.

Lets face it, our society is plagued by addiction. Things like, "shopaholics", gambling addictions, cigarettes, alcohol, video games, over eating, sex addiction et cetera, et cetera & et cetera. Almost anything and everything can be qualified as "addictive".

A bad addiction tends to keep you away from duties, it stops you from reaching your potential, it consumes precious time and honestly.....it oppresses your heart.

Only the ignorant and foolish say using your heart to make decisions is unwise. Let me make it clear....your brain cannot explore the depths of this universe without a strong willed and good heart.

If your brain is the universe, than your heart is the vessel that allows to travel within it.

However, the aspect of the heart is a very complicated one. It's not just a muscle that pumps blood;

It's also a fertile plot of land, waiting for the seed of a blooming flower that forever gives off beauty.
It seeks to be cultivated;


It begs for contentment,
It yearns to be pure,

Anyways...anyone who desires a revolution, who wants to see change or simply, wants to make someone glow a warm smile, than their hearts need to be free; or at least working towards freedom.

Issues like compulsion and addiction are like shackles around the ankles and wrists; you become imprisoned by your limitations; or simply put, your carnal self.

There are people who argue that they need a change of scenery, a new life, a new place of "being", so that they might change.

I am working hard to prove this otherwise. I do believe that if someone is going to be the change the want to see, they have to start between the four walls.

Why, because your mind and heart are what need to change. That vessel of yours needs to be rebuilt and strengthened in order to withstand the dangers of the universe.

Have I confused you yet? I'm just trying to say that.....Nothing will make this world better, unless the world inside you is better.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Tests, Tests, Tests.

Funny isn't it? when you walk into class and you see the busy youngin's smiling and contemplating their ventures for the day, you wonder...what struggles to these people encounter?

Their glowing faces and bright smiles tend to mask their pains; almost to the point where you might even think their lives are almost pain free.

Obviously, that's not true, every one of your mates, regardless of how big and bright their smiles might be, have something that's breaking their hearts. At the very least, it probably crosses their hearts every week.

Would it be fair to assume it crosses their minds daily? maybe even hourly? maybe the thoughts are so often, it distracts them from their obligations?

Maybe they're better at managing their internal life, quite possibly....they could have mastered the art of struggle & it doesn't phase them, it becomes second nature.

Too many maybes, not enough definites....so I'll stop asking questions and move on to my point.

If any of you take your struggles as seriously as I do; see them as tests. See them as something you need to prepare for, plan it like a war. Plan it as if you know you'll loose a lot, plan them knowing you'll come out injured. But may I make my point clear....never cease to gather each and every lesson from that test; whether you passed or failed.

My second point is, make this your personal responsibility & think about it as if it is your life's goal. Teach yourself, condition your weak & fragile heart to never loose it's cool; for "us as humans" this is the greatest attribute. It pieces together patience, wisdom, self-control, through thinking, conflict resolution & so many other priceless spirits that you will become someone with as much magnitude as a deep loving mother.

It's not easy, I know; if I had the formula to it, I would give it to everyone. I would dedicate my life to giving to everyone.

Bas khaleey'neh oulkoun sheh, iza badkoun seeroo haleem, lazem balshou bi' imankoun.
(But let me tell you something, if you want to become forbaring; you must start with purifying your soul).

You cannot start this by thinking of it as a "task" oriented process (i.e, if you want to be strong willed, you need to follow steps 1, 2, 3), it's far more complicated; when I find out, I'll let you know.

If you do know, please feel free to share you knowledge.