Tuesday, December 02, 2008

A Letter from a Friend About Relationships.

Im going to visit my father and talk to him, I will be as proper and patient as possible, hoping he will open up to the idea. Maybe I'm being unrealistic, but it's a route I need to go, it is unfair for her to have her parents involved from the get go and Myself, unable to figure out how I will get my parents to be accepting of the idea.
I know myself, if in my mind, all I can think about is the displeasure of my parents, I won't be able to be myself with her. They are wrong to ever think in the wavelength they do and I would be a fool to submit to anyone's ignorance, but unfortunately ignorance is something I have to overcome before I get involved with a woman as golden as her.
I'll give you an example, when I mentioned the idea to my mother, in the midst of her negative feedback, she said "this is not what WE want". I then asked her, what does she mean by "we" she said..."me and you".
She's of the oppinion that this is her decision as much as it is mine. And with all due honesty, I feel Ive come to a new chapter in my life. I've allowed myself to roll over and let their oppinions in important matters superseed mine even if I knew they're wrong. I started submitting out of exhaustion from argument and fighting. I also submitted and make-believe they were right just so I could avoid a fight and further put dents and holes in an already complicated relationship.
I am thankful and full of praise to Allah for the parents I was born to, they teach me so much, but by virtue of their upbringing and lack of religious education, I have to battle uphill for nearly every opponion I express to my father, and many things to my mother.
I was once independent in my arguments and opponions, and was honoured by my ability to rationalize situations alone, but I've become so tired and hopeless in my dialouge with them, if my father were to tell me it's halal to walk nude, I would agree with belief.
As of today I will never let that happen again. I need to find energy, somewhere to battle their Sherman tank-like stubborness without comming out angry, depressed, etc.
I gotta lay down my sword and see if there is any other tool to wage my spiritual struggle with.
As for her, I will retreat for a few days to strategize. Think things through and find my way.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

This note is really sweet, Awwh Neil bhai someone finally captured your heart LMAO she must be something rare and special, who ever she may be if she is reading this you're a lucky woman

allah hafiz

saj

neilio said...

no one captured my heart :P

I didn't write this letter, it says letter FROM a friend

I posted it because I thought it was sweet, the same way you thought it was sweet :)

Anonymous said...

Neil bhai you're misleading us LMAO maybe there is some truth to this letter typically humans post things or situations they can relate too keep up the awesome writing

allah hafiz

saj

Anonymous said...

it's not mine!!! lol

But yeah, everyone can relate to it, can't they?

edgy relationship with parents, potential partner, but isn't from the same culture...

tell me, who hasn't been through that?