On the vulnerability of Humans

The other day, I starred deeply into the eyes of the ones I love most. I looked closely at the hearts of the ones that raised me. I starred long and hard, like my life depended on it.

All I saw was the frail soul that hid deeply in the hearts of bani Adam.

I was scared, thinking - maybe it was I that encouraged their souls to feel fragile and vulnerable. Blamed myself for not fulfilling my duties as a son.

I starred deeply into the eyes of my sweet sister, the mother of 2 angels, the wife of a pensive man and saw the same.

Vulnerability...

I saw humans who desired protection and wished for ease. I saw humanity's wish for peace and serenity. All I saw was a masked sadness - however, the masked was crumbling, it was made of a material weaker than that of flesh.

The eyes spoke to me, and its silent words sent me into the depth of the coldest waters. I wished for the water to engulf me and send me beyond the borders of this planet of masked and broken souls.

But I realized, I was the water.

I realized - looking deeply into the eyes of my new friend - the young woman who wished for love and confidence - that it was I, starring at myself in the reflection of her glossy eyes. The gloss of sweet tears that covered over the gentle grey colour. The rare colour that a select few are blessed with.

I wished for a will made of steel, I wished and prayed hard - to be a human not bound by the shakles of vulnerability. But I couldn't break free - I will never.

It is my nature, to forever be vulnerable - it is the will of my heart to remain frail.

The quiver of my character that stands tall in the face all those that wish to be like me. It qivered like a leaf...I quiver because I know that in the face of my Lord - I'm just a weak man, aching for a life free of hardship..

But that ship doesnt sail with the wind - it charges at me without mercy.

My only defense is to admit - I am a human, vulnerable and frail; slightly worn and damaged prematurely. At that point, is where I realize without my Creator, I'm just another pound of flesh about to be trampled by the charging ship.

Instead, I ride the ship like an Angel that enshrouds the sky with stunning light.

and I ensure that it is I that uses life, and not life that uses me.

The animal known as the human is born frail and in need of protection - and lives in that state. We just mask it, some do a better job than others.

My job is to take the mask off and embrace it and wish for the protection of my Creator, the one and only Allah.

blessed be my soul - frail and weak, may it forever realize my need for protection.

The Difference between the broad-minded & petty minded

I realize that many humans fail to grasp the big picture. We fail to choose long term goals and instead, focus on satisfying impulse. We choose irrational emotional reactions and fail to reflect before we act.

Not to say that emotional reactions are bad - but treat your emotions with value and express them only when you see the situation worthy of your emotions.

I'm tired of the weak spirited human. The one that choose the glitter of planet earth and neglects the reality of selfless humanism.

The trained human has tamed their soul; a taming that suffocates ill reaction to simple and pointless, words and deeds. The tamed human assess and thinks before moving forward.

The brain is such a beautiful thing; it is the universe that begs to be discovered, it's thoughts and memories are endless and the vast depths you can travel within are sometimes frightening.

Your vessel to travel the mental-universe is your heart - the only thing that could protect your soul from the darkness that sometimes lurks in the vast darkness of the mind.

However, why would someone refrain from using their minds? why are people much more willing to submit to impulse and irrational behaviour? I never understood.

Logic is a beautiful thing, it is my passport to sanity in the psychotic jungle known as society.

I'd rather be a poor man with a mind that could conquer ignorance, than a wealthy man whose will submits to impulse.

These are just my disorganized thoughts.

The Fruits of Wisdom

One evening a Cherokee elder told his grandson
about the battle that goes on inside people.

He said,
“My son, the battle is between the two ‘wolves’ that live inside us all.

One is Unhappiness. It is fear, worry, anger, jealousy, sorrow, self-pity, resentment and inferiority.

The other is Happiness. It is joy, love, hope, serenity, kindness, generosity, truth and compassion. ”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
“Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed”.

To witness the blooming flowers....

Grand, isn't it?

To watch something unfold before your very eyes?
Something that seems so subtle, so natural and profoundly sacred.

To witness it unfold and bloom without the intervention of humanity.
From the bulb - out comes a portrait - one sculpted by the potent phrase "be"...and it became.

Such a portrait is worthy to be seen only by the patient.
For the inpatient cannot bare to watch something take its time and unfold slowly.

The inpatient must see it immediately - so much to the extent that they cannot bare the idea that something hessitates and prepares for its exposure to planet earth.

The inpatient one thrashes at the bulb, some open it gently.
Regardless, they failed to give the bulb the need to open up naturally.

The bulb dies - only to unveil that the hidden portrait within
was too beautiful for the world.
and perished quickly

Some care not.

cursed for life are the inpatient - lost for life are the careless.

Harmony of Mind and Heart

Dear Readers,
As humans, we are obligated to make decisions that are in the best interests of ourselves, and those near and dear in our lives. The decision making process is a tedious one, as we're require to assess the potential outcome. This requires foresight, hindsight and the willingness to accept responsibility if the outcome causes harm, and if good comes from it - to accept it with humility and gratefulness.

We're obliged to weigh the pro's and con's and if the good outweighs the bad - it is in our best interests to follow through.

Much of what I stated above is structured risk taking.

It's pensive intimate discourse. Sometimes it requires "old man" behaviour [sitting around in the quiet focusing on the task at hand] and we usually pair this with seeking advise from those who've made similar decisions.

Sometimes - we just say "f' it" and just do it without the pensive, structured risk taking. This is the risk taking of adrenaline junkies who appreciate the golden feeling of great memories and aged wisdom.

The kind of wisdom we love hearing about. These lessons are the kind that we cannot prepare for. Your only means to gaining from such risks is to supplicate, have confidence and faith.

As a human being, I appreciate the adrenaline rush of a risk. I despise the phrase "what if I did..."

I need to see something through, right till the end.
and so should you.

Sometimes the need to take the risk and see it right until the end comes from two needs. The need to satisfy curiousity and there's this magnetic need to find out. This is usually a byproduct of contradicting thoughts & emotions, some that are generated by the mind & heart and they are at odds.

and the other is a byproduct of "harmony of mind and heart".

Harmony of mind and heart is the weapon of the spiritual warrior. If you ever are in a state where your emotions and rationale are on par with each other - don't waste it.

This is the highest form of confidence - one in which, your capacity to make something work is at its highest and the anxiety of risk isn't there. You may see a potential risk - but it does not hinder your performance.

This is the equivalent of making your soul a freight train.

I want my soul to be a freight train.

nothing stops me, because I am free.
ameen.

The Gift of Anger.

I am not tired, nor am I lazy.
I am not unjust, nor am I blind.
my anger is not a result of instinct.
it is a result of rationale.

I rationalized, thought about and realized that if I wasn't angry about the death of the innocent, I would be well adjusted to a f*cked up society. A society that is ill-prinicpled and self-absorbed and cares only for their wealth.

I am not adjusted to a f*cked up society, I am it's polar opposite;
staring at it;
studying it's every move;
and preparing to enlighten it.

Shedding light on the moral ills of modern humanity, or lack there of.
Telling people they need to be angry, they need to utilize the one gift of sheer rage - at the only thing worthy of anger - oppression.

Politicians staying quiet,
politicians working strictly for votes
bending backwards for a ballot that will probably score them some points for a short period of time,
but eventually that paper ballot is what will choke them when the scent of children's blood doesn't leave their hands.

I am angry,
rightfully
and for the sake of what is just.

One of these days, my anger will manifest - and you will be angry like me.

and we'll bring back humanity together.

Feeling Incompetent

Complete sense of helplessness
unable to do anything
All I can do is protest and blog
possibly donate some money

I become angry - but my anger is suffocated

I will never forgive an oppressor, nor will I forgive
I witness hell on television
the hell of mangled children
the hell of civilians convulsing from shock and pain
but the hell to be experienced by the politicians who've remained silent is far worse

soon enough, they'll rot
soon enough their throne and wealth will be the kindle that fuels their fire

Why is it that every government is tippy-toeing in the tulips for the oppressor
Why did Harper's government react spinelessly?
Why is Obama silent? Why hasn't the revolutionary president done anything
Why is he on vacation as the world burns?
Just another bourgeoisie reaping the wealth of the poor and innocecnt

In due time, the oppressor will beg for mercy
and no one will answer their call
Soon enough the silent leaders will claim innocence,
and no one will be there to hear them

When that happens, I will hope that my prayers for the oppressed
and my dollars
might keep me away from the kingdom of hell the oppressor built for himself.

Your Tears Are Useless Without Action.

How many people have I heard cry their souls out in the beginning of the Muharram. People crying hard and lamenting - yes, both MEN and WOMEN crying hard in a public setting. Crying hard for the genocide in the scorching deserts of Kerbala, Iraq 1400 years ago.

My Leader and Example, my role model and saint, Hussain (peace be upon him) - the grandson of the last messenger and prophet of God, stood his ground against a regiem and tyrant that still continues to kill today.

Most people don't appreciate the intensity of this tragedy, both Muslims and Non-Muslims alike, most Muslims tell me "why are you crying over a death that occured 1400 years ago, get over with it and move on"

Non-Muslims, especially ones living in peaceful countries - never having to fear a dictator, or muderous opressor, don't see the point of commemorating, celebrating or mourning the death of someone who actually stood up and died on his feet, compared to most leaders who'd rather live on their knees.

I'm sure my readers still don't really grasp the necessity to remember the message of Imam Hussain(p.b.u.h), but when you see children dying in Ghaza and people burnt to death in a suicide bombing in Iraq, and Kenyan's running for their lives, and Congalese in threat of another civil war, than maybe you would appreciate the story of a man who stood up, when everyone else sat down.

Especially when that man was one of the most beloved of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), more than any other companion who some dance around for in circles for when they hear their name. More than any other scholar who spent their life trying to propogate their perspective on islamic law. His message was as potent as Muhammad's because it WAS Muhammad's message: Justice in the face of Tyranny, self sacrific, never remaining silent who injustice occurs, action, action, action.

Don't just shed tears, don't just sit and wallow, don't just watch the news and get angry. Get up. Struggle and sacrifice, spend money on the needy, teach people about the need to bark at their government's when they've stayed silent on genocides. Teach the young to be active in their communities and be just in the treatment of others. Teach people that humanitarianism is the greatest act of worship.

Maybe once in our lives, our tears and anger will actually turn into action, maybe once in our lives, our butts can get off their floor, and actually uphold the message of the most incredible leader- Hussain (a.s) whose spirit still lives on.

If I cry this year, it'll be because I'm witnessing my students cry. If I cry this year, it'll be because I'm angry, not sad or shocked at the opression of Imam Hussain (a.s) and his family - I will be angry and cry at the fact, that his message will go to waste without our change in direction and using this religion for the benifit of humanity.

A Village Called....

Our community was just hit by a locomotive. We heard it coming and some of us tried hard to prepare, and others chose not to.

But now we’ve stood up and we’re shocked with the most intense awakening; the murder of one of our own.

A young man who is my brother, although I didn’t know him. A man who is your son, and is related to you by spirit.

He was a man, a brother of our village…

We all left our villages, our parents’ villages in Lebanon and Iraq and migrated to the village of Al-Huda.

The next time someone asks me what Di’a I’m from, I will say Al-Huda.

My closeness and bonds to you, my fellow villagers, is closer to any bond or any village in Lebanon.

Al Huda is our Die’a, Al-Huda is the village of our children, our children’s children and so on.

We may fantasize about flocking back, but reality stares us in the face and says we are here and our challenges are here, our bonds are here and we have an obligation to protect each other – us – ahlul-dieat Al-Huda. This Die’a is our turba, my flesh is of this die’a and so is all of yours.

It take an entire village to raise a child, we are all responsible for each other.

When one child is hurt or is being seduced by shaytan, it is up to us, the Ahlul die’a to step in and show the child mercy. The same rahma that Nabi-Mohammad (s.a.w.a) showed to his fello members of Medina.

The small, new community of Muslims who faced challenges, like we do, who starred shaytan in the face and realized, if they didn’t take ownership of their new home, shaytan would devour their community.

We need to stick together and bond upon the principles of mercy and patience.

We need to honestly and sincerely bond with each other with intensions cleaner and purer than the ones we current hold.

We need to keep our hearts open and realize the vivid reality which we live in.

The reality known as Akhir ul Zaman, - the end times – the period of human history that is most difficult.

The only way we can succeed is if we take genuine ownership of this die’a and realize that it is home, the village we belong to.

Our children, our young men and women, our brothers and sisters, our young souls nad hearts are also our students who see and learn more from us than we intend to teach – they see us for who we are and want to look up to us.

If we don’t re-adjust the way we think about each other, if we don’t re-approach the way we look at die’at – Al Huda, we will onl witness more tragedies.

An example – this was told to a crowd of about 10,000 muslims at a conference 2 years ago by Imam Abdul Hakim Quick

He said, in South Africa, the drug problem is enormous, all drugs from east – to – west pass through Africa.

Drug usage, esp. methamphetamine, became prominent amongst Muslims.

To the point where young women and the daughters of the community were selling their virginity to pay their debts to dealers and drug lords.

Fitna is vividly everywhere.

But the fathers, mothers, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, friends and all did not accuse their own of sin and stop going to their mosques for fear of embarrassment, they didn’t see shame.

They rallied together, they organized, and they became a source of support for each others and their youth and took to the streets as one voice, one heart and one people.

They challenged the dealers; they challenged the drug lords, the corrupt cops and politicians, and as a community, stood up for their youth at a time when most Muslim communities would accuse them of sin.

The underlying principle of what I’m trying to say is “Rahma”; Mercy should be the governing point, the pivot, the centre, and the underlying principle of how we deal with our brothers, our sisters, and all those who are members of this die’a.

Therefore we need to change something within us, we need rebirth.

What we need is Allah, and none will change our condition except Allah.

And if we turn to Al Quran al majeed – Surat Al ra’ad, verse 11

eng trans: For each person there are angels in succession, before and behind them. They guard him by the command of Allah.

Verily, never will Allah change the condition of a people until they change themselves. But when Allah willeth a people’s punishment, they can be no luring it back, nor will they, besides him, anyone to protect.

So in order for us to work in harmony, to change our condition, we need to change ourselves, our children and the future of die’at A- Huda and the ummah depends on it.

Because it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a die’a to raise a child.

Rally together with merciful intensions to protect each other from Shaytan

A Letter from a Friend About Relationships.

Im going to visit my father and talk to him, I will be as proper and patient as possible, hoping he will open up to the idea. Maybe I'm being unrealistic, but it's a route I need to go, it is unfair for her to have her parents involved from the get go and Myself, unable to figure out how I will get my parents to be accepting of the idea.
I know myself, if in my mind, all I can think about is the displeasure of my parents, I won't be able to be myself with her. They are wrong to ever think in the wavelength they do and I would be a fool to submit to anyone's ignorance, but unfortunately ignorance is something I have to overcome before I get involved with a woman as golden as her.
I'll give you an example, when I mentioned the idea to my mother, in the midst of her negative feedback, she said "this is not what WE want". I then asked her, what does she mean by "we" she said..."me and you".
She's of the oppinion that this is her decision as much as it is mine. And with all due honesty, I feel Ive come to a new chapter in my life. I've allowed myself to roll over and let their oppinions in important matters superseed mine even if I knew they're wrong. I started submitting out of exhaustion from argument and fighting. I also submitted and make-believe they were right just so I could avoid a fight and further put dents and holes in an already complicated relationship.
I am thankful and full of praise to Allah for the parents I was born to, they teach me so much, but by virtue of their upbringing and lack of religious education, I have to battle uphill for nearly every opponion I express to my father, and many things to my mother.
I was once independent in my arguments and opponions, and was honoured by my ability to rationalize situations alone, but I've become so tired and hopeless in my dialouge with them, if my father were to tell me it's halal to walk nude, I would agree with belief.
As of today I will never let that happen again. I need to find energy, somewhere to battle their Sherman tank-like stubborness without comming out angry, depressed, etc.
I gotta lay down my sword and see if there is any other tool to wage my spiritual struggle with.
As for her, I will retreat for a few days to strategize. Think things through and find my way.

It Takes a Village to Raise a Child

The final weekend of November has been smothered by sheer emotion. Every ounce of my flesh and soul has been overwhelmed with the murder of a 22 year old who I never met. I've never seen him or his family members, but this one tragedy has been the centre of my weekend. His pictures, soulless body and mourning lovers showed how real the challenge is. In our little community centre; the small mosque which is used as a school, recreation centre, social club and wedding hall was transformed for the first time in my generation, into a place of panic and confusion. EVERYONE, I mean EVERY single last person whose ever entered that centre asked "how in God's name have we succmbed to such a tragic way of life?"

I will brief my readers on the mentality of my people: Lebanese Muslim-Shia's tend to known for strong faith and an adherence to islamo-arabic traditions. Much of these traditions are beautiful and are lessons for the world, some of these traditions need to be challenged. But all in all, we, as a people have prided ourselves on resisting an oppressive machine, transformed from secular to Godly, and being beautiful.

The murdered young man was targeted. It was planned, first degree murder. There was a score to be settled for some reason. The members of my community are whispering rumours of drugs and a gang-related lifestyle. But I will leave these questions unanswered - as the Muslims say "Allah-who-alam" God know's best. Because we really have no idea what happened and why he was shot to death.

But whatever the issue is, I lay the responsibility of this man's death on us. Myself, and the village that held the responsibility of raising a man to not ever been involved with such people. Us, you, me, him, her. The father holding the rosary listening to the Imam speak. The mother looking chatting with her counterpart. The 20-something young man who prefers to smoke sheesha and shoot pool and chase skets instead of come to centre to enlighten their hearts. A community that failed to look after it's as if was their own. The village is responsibile for his death, regardless of what the reason was for his planned murder. We all have a hand in this.

I am bloody-f*cking-angry. At the ignorant people who are ONLY focused on their personal affairs. The people who are so possessed by this foul world. This awful planet- that uses the blood of the innocent to water the flowers and foliage which fools us to believe that life is pretty.

I am angry at the fathers who claim they tried, but gave up. I am angry at the men who had good intentions, but did a poor job at manifesting them. I am angry at the gossiping mother. I am angry at the mother's who didn't come together to intervene on behalf of their friend's son. I am angry at the young men who know the truth, but couldn't care less about it. I am angry at the young women, too overwhelmed by the pursuit of (false) love. I am VEXED, Furious with the SELFISH.

ME ME ME, MY MY MY....and at the same time....not my business, not my problem, not my son, not my daughter. Too late.

He's now your son, he's now your daughter, hes now MY brother. I am just as guilty as the ones I am angry with.

Calm Down Neil - Calm Down.... Think...think....think about what Malcom X said (may God rest his pure soul)

"Anger is A Gift".

Productive anger - Anger that moves you in the right direction, anger that makes you want to readjust society from what it is, to what it ought to be.

Alright, now my fire is directed.....I know what to do...

I will let know later on what it is, and if it worked.

Dear Mr. Dryden...

Tis the season to elect another professional liar...
At one point we could have argued the need to find a politician who is the lesser of the evils. At one point before that, we could have chosen the better of the two.

Now, we live in a meat grinder, both sides are equally destructive, not a single place to turn for the sake of greater governance.

Mr. Ken Dryden, I personally appeal to you and your lack luster Superior. When you approve the necessity to collectively punish an entire population of innocent civilians, you have lived up to the same standards as your slave-ship fore-fathers. You have failed to evolve beyond foul principles that orchestrated the holocaust. You remain as primative...pardon me, as sub-primative as the mass murders who claimed to be doing the earth a favor, when all they did was wreck havok amongst them.

Regardless of my paternal heritage, regardless of my ancestry, and regardless of my blood line Mr. Dryden, I am a human being - one that understands that regardless of someone's race and political affiliation, all innocent civilians are entitled to peace and freedom from terror and oppression.

Any rational human being, one who bares a mind and a heart, understands the logic that the collective punishment of any innocent civilians (regardless of their geographical location, race, or suposid political affiliations) is against the natural and unbreakable law of freedom from punishment.

Why have you approved of the collective punishment of an innocent group of civilians? Do you want to be voted in that badly? do you want the paycheque and approval so badly? Do you really want that "authority" so bloody badly? An authority underneath a leader who lacks the characterisitics of a diplomat?

Excuse me Mr. Dryden, you've stooped lower than the one party your superior attacks consistently. You've truly become the man who stands for nothing and will fall for anything.

God Speed to you Mr. Dryden, enjoy this life and the luxuries you desire. Enjoy your "authority and power" while it lasts, because it'll come to a point when you'll beg for freedom from oppression, freedom from the hell you advocated on behalf of.

China: Woman imams play indispensable role in China's largest Muslim region

6/10/2008: “At a tiny courtyard mosque in China's most populous Muslim region, Jin Meihua leads other women in prayer and chants." (Xinhua)

"Every day, the 44-year-old dons a black robe and violet scarf and preaches to dozens of women at the Little White Mosque in northwest China's Ningxia Hui Autonomous region, where most of the country's Islam-faith Hui ethnic minority live.

She is a female imam or "ahong," pronounced ah-hung, from the Persian word "akhund" for "the learned." In China, a female imam is an innovation, despite being rare in Arab countries. ‘Many female Muslims do not have the benefit of a school education. Although they are Muslims, they know nothing about the Qu'ran. I want to teach them the Holy Scriptures and hope they can be inspired and think independently,’ she said. ‘Women ahong are the best qualified to do this because they can communicate with the female faithful in ways the male ahongs can't.’

As early as the late Ming dynasty (around the 17th century), the faithful had set up female Muslim schools around the country. These turned into female mosques operated by women imams in late Qing dynasty (around the 19th century). The practice of female imams then spread to all the Chinese Muslim societies, said Shui Jingjun, a Henan Provincial Academy of Social Sciences researcher. Currently, Ningxia has more than 80 female imams. There are more than 3,600 registered mosques and 6,000 ahongs in the region, he said.

23 June 2008

Source: http://news.xinhuanet.com/english

Kicking, Pushing & Coasting

I would like to thank my kind and attentive readers for the generous comments. Although I do not express my thoughts as often as I should (due to a mix of being busy and lazy), I would like to affirm my new found desire to be consistent....hahhahahhaa, well, I'll try.

As you all know, I discuss lessons that most or all people experience, but I like to examine them within the wee hours of the night - the portion of the 24 hour period where the mind wonders to distant realms of the subconscious.

This past year, the one question that has nagged on me is, "how does one succeed? Is success a byproduct of persistent hard work? Is it fate (luck, chance, etc.), is it both?"

Allow me to explain a scenario:

An individual who desires a particular degree of success will receive it. It does not matter if they plead with God, because a plea for success isn't necessarily a conscience "thought out" request. A desire, a deep pensive want in moments of self reflection could be your plea with the most-High (all praises due) I could be wrong, but I BELIEVE you don't need to be consciously asking the All Knowing for him to hear your wants.

So it is essentially a matter of energy, a matter of passion and desire for success. I genuinely believe that is the fundamental core.

However, there are variables that define how you succeed, and the sustainability of your success (great, now I sound like a politician).

in order to define your success and it's sustainability, I propose the question, "why do you want to succeed?" Regardless of your religion or principles, what reward do you seek, is it a) sense of satisfaction; b) money; c) a pure afterlife; d) humanitarian (selfless)?

I would assume that most good people would say all of the above and if you look into it, 2 parts are worldly (a & b), and 2 parts are heavenly (c & d).

a heavenly inclination might grant you a type of success that isn't necessarily visible to the secular eye as "true success" , but to s/he who is God-centred, it would be obvious that they are of the most successful individuals.

If someone is inclined to more worldly intensions, their success would appear as true and genuine success. Neither are necessarily bad, but evil may not be something you actively avoid when you take the worldly into higher consideration. The heavenly would obviously be tempted by the fruits of Lucifer, but would take active steps to ensure s/he is free of it.

Let's try to pull this all of this in together... we have:
a) a passion, a want, a desire for something (for me, it is to spread Islam not by word, but by subtle action and the revolution of thought)
b) It will be served to me, God willing, so as long as I really want it
c) I need to be presistent in reaching it, willing to bare the difficulties affiliated with it (i.e. self-reformation & refinement, backlash, and many many MANY more difficulties)
d) Adjusting my approach and intensions to insure they heavily incline towards the heavenly (they're obviously allowed to be worldly, but that can never outweigh the heavenly, and if they do, go back to step [c])
e) follow through and fly with what was served to you. Be thankful and humble, never failing to acknowledge the fruits of success which have rippened before you.

If I have said anything wrong, May I be forgiven and corrected.

God Speed.

Forever accepting that the only thing definite is death and the day in which there is no doubt...

As you might have figured out, I'm not as preoccupied as usual. I spend my hours in attempt to initiate my career through online applications - at this point, I am still optimistic, but the only stones I leave unturned are correctional officer (working in a prison) and a legal assistant. I'm beginning to consider policing as an domestic violence specialist - but I don't know...

Options are everywhere, nothing is definite. You can plan all you want, but the the micro-details are unpredictable (yes, I refer to your first career move as a micro-detail before you don't know where anything will lead you).

So the other day I was driving with a good friend (my mother); we go down to my favorite spot near the lake and she becomes as inspired as I. On our way there, I discussed a scenario that I fell into many times. Not once, not twice MANY times...where I was convinced that the final answer was already determined and it was time to carry on with the rest of my life. She looked at me and said; no. That one word shook me; no. Then did I realize, there is no final answer in this life except for death and the day in which there is no doubt (al youm la rayba fe - Judgment day). I was always convinced about determined answers; but nothing is definite. Nothing is the end of all roads; no answer is forever permanent. Maybe because I am not a mathematician in which all is black and white (right or wrong); I am a social scientist, where most or everything is grey.

I concluded that there are no conclusions in life; there is no guarantee that something is over; Your plans or your beliefs may be your aspirations, but definite are they really?

However, you might question, shouldn't we be determined enough to want things to be definite?
Lets say, for example - that a young woman wants to revolutionize her people to stand up against a system that is discreetly being designed to oppress them. She might desire it and pray for it, work for it and fight for it; but what is to say that will happen?

Than how confident can you be in your dreams and ambitions if things are not definite?

Now I confused myself - although I am convinced that humans have free will and can do as they wish; if they wanted to do something big and revolutionary but it doesn't go in that direction, is that necessarily a bad thing?

maybe this philosophy is just plain out stupid - wait, actually now I got it...

maybe there are somethings other than death and the day in which there is no doubt, and some things where you have control over? Maybe there are somethings that you are destined to do and you envision it years before it happens...is that a legitimate way to understand the term "definite"? Obviously, agnostics and atheists would think I'm retarded - but I'm still trying to figure out what I should close the book on and I should continue looking forward too....

maybe I should just stfu and just "koun (be)"

I guess everyone is allowed to think in wasteful dimensions once in a while...

The Lens...

This is something that I've grown to understand a while ago, but have only verbalized it recently...although I expressed it to several intelligent friends, I failed to clarify it - or maybe it's because they didn't get my point. I love what Albert Einstein once said, "you only truly understand what you can explain to your grandmother". So in otherwords, I better practice my Arabic more often...(hahahahaha, me so funnnnnnnie)

I tend to write for people who are educated and see things in a similar light as mine - one day I'll be able to simplify things better and eventually universalize the message I feel needs to be broadcasted.

Okay, so here it goes....

Due to intense politicization of the current period, culture, and era that we live in, we as humans are viewing and judging everything from a political lens (or perspective).

Allow me to explain. As an individual, I have the ability and right to judge a scenario or a person after thorough and unemotional examination...

(*sidenote: I am not saying you should be judgmental by judging too quickly, but I am arguing that with wisdom and experience, you need to make competent judgments and conclusions about people and situations. Go ahead, be like Tupac and say "Only God can judge me"; however, I really think that was a message sent out to judgmental individuals*).

...however, that judgment is governed by the perspective you see it from. When people express a firm opinion and try to soften the blow, they might say something "that's just my perspective", or something like that...

The truth is, we have several lenses (or perspectives) - so far I've discovered both a politicized and a spiritualized one; there could be others, but I haven't found them. Both are valid means of coming to a conclusion; HOWEVER, we make the unwise and unconscious mistake of using our political lens to judge something (or someone) that requires the spiritual lens.

Have I confused you yet? I'm trying to be clear - but I have trouble trying to make sense out of things, So I'm gonna further simplify it.

We tend to judge a situation or a person by looking through the wrong lens. We sometimes judge situations that require a spiritual perspective, with a political lens. Hardly do we ever judge a politicized issue from a spiritual lens, due to the fact that we (as I said above) have become so politicized that we've packed away our spiritual lens.

Have I made my self clear now?

Okay, now for the examples....

I am what some people refer to as a SUSHI (from a mixed, Sunni/Shia family). I have a feeling that my generation might be the last of this, due to the fact that sectarianism (a political thing) has dominated people's understanding of the true essence of the religion (which is a spiritual thing). Many people have unconsciously replaced spiritualism with politicism.

This is happening for the follow reason:

- We have a natural desire and inclination to discover the ultimate reality (The one God).

- However, this is not going to feed our need to find cultural solace,

- So we therefore turn to the culture of our parents, due to the fact that the Canadian social fabric is weak (due to the multiculturalism ideology our Federal Government encouraged - it left many young individuals in limbo; unable to understand what their Canadian identity is in comparison to the culture of their parents).

- Nevertheless, cultural values are consistently mistaken with religious principals; and in order for us to decipher the difference between the two, we need to go into a deeper study (which is nightmarishly difficult)

and within this study, we begin to make judgments... and we make these judgments without looking through the correct lens.

Have I made things clear? I know its really complicated - I'll probably post another essay later that's far simpler.
But to conclude, these are thing that I believe should be looked at through a spiritual lens:

1) your relationship with God and your soul
2) your judgment of others (i.e. don't judge someone according to their political or ideological affiliations)

there are others, but I have yet to verbalize them....but I hate it when someone looks down on me because I don't look at everything through a poli-fu*king-litical lense or because my take on religion, or my take on "Sunni's/Shia's" is not consistent with everyone else's.

I have my perspectives, my beliefs and understandings as to the purpose of the sectarianism... even if you are rather rigid to your ideology, I think that it should not interfere with your relationship with other Muslims, especially marital relations...

I will explain more later on, because I know I've begotten a million more questions

God forgive if I've said anything contrary to his natural law and system.

Philosophy to live by

Practical and simple philosophies you might have heard of, but have forgotten due to the fact that your a human and it is a part of you're nature to forget....So I've taken the liberty to remind you...

Imam Ali (a.s) has said, ‘That knowledge is very superficial when it remains only on your tongue; the intrinsic merit and value of knowledge is that you ACT upon it’.”

in other words, you can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?

Beautiful Art work found on www.deviantart.com

Tuqwa, Iman & it's relationship to character

I could be totally wrong; I just do a lot of theorizing and I test it by asking my friends and scholars many questions, I look into different texts, ask Allah to guide me to see if my theory is correct and eventually, putting it into practice.

Allow me to explain the terms Tuqwa and Iman in laymen terms. Tuqwa can be understood as God consciousness. It can also be defined as fear of God; the type of fear from punishment, and the fear of wronging someone you really really love (if you truly love someone so much, you are conscious of every move you make and every word that you say, just so you may not disappoint them).

Iman is you confidence in Allah. How you trust him, your relationship with him and your ability to genuine see and feel his presence around you and inside your heart. People see Allah not with their physical eye, but the eye of their heart - in Arabic it is referred to as Haqq-ul-Yaqeen.

I do not know if everyone senses this or understands themselves in light of their relationship to Allah, but I do. I've pondered the universality of this and frankly, I know it is universal, but just because it is so, does not mean everyone can confirm or sense it. This is what I am growing to believe:::

That if you have characteristics, skills, and attributes that are grand, than your iman and tuqwa must be strong enough, in quantity and quality - to satisfy the capacity of the capacity you have. If your iman and tuqwa are weak, your great and unique abilities will never manifest.

First of all this is what you need to do:
You need to confirm and acknowledge the characteristics you have in you without fear of arrogance. You must do this; if you ever deny your truest potential and abilities - you have wronged yourself, Allah and those who you are benefit from your responsibility to them (side note: never view responsibility as a burden, it is a sincere honour to be given responsibilities).


There are many ways of acknowledging how amazing the characteristics you have and I am only sure of one way to do it without arrogance - by thanking Allah for them and asking him to help you use them in servitude to him.

You must search your inner most self; you must disassemble all that you have ever know about yourself and analyze everything from a logical point of view.

You must have a sufficient amount of knowledge to know what borders to cross and which ones to avoid

you must tour the depths of your mind with the vessel that is your heart. Knowing your heart may not be able to take the burden; it is not mechanical and it does adapt to harsh situations - so fear not and just embark on the journey.

There are other ways of humbly acknowledging your greatest characteristics and are necessary to do so for you to genuinely explore their potentials. I am not sure of them yet.


So back to my theory - These characteristics are unique or "high performance"; they might be rare and quite possibly, revolutionary (or at least the cause of one). In order for these characteristics to be truly manifested for the good of yourself and humanity - than you need to have Tuqwa and Iman that would shake the very foundation of the people who make eye contact with you.

Some people will see your potential without you having a strong Tuqwa or Iman. These are the people who will are heavenly appointed savior's, guides and, mentors. If they come across you, turn them not away, for you will be the loser.

If you ask me, these are the seeds of genuine self confidence and confidence in Allah. I think everyone has high potential - its just a matter of spirit and optimism.

I could be wrong, I don't know - I haven't confirmed anything, these are just thoughts - tell me what you think.

May Allah forgive me if I said anything wrong.

The Negative Thought Process

The awful yet deceiving burn of pessimism never ceases to cause harm. It is the epiphany of weak confidence and low self-esteem; working ever so tirelessly to lower the priceless value of the human individual. It garners its energy and strength from the natural chemicals that react when a negative situation arises; than your little fiend take advantage and pours fuel to further intensify the chemical reaction. It leads you to believe you have little or no worth, it guides you to think you have almost no value in the eyes of those who matter. When this happens, you back away from the people, convinced that they care not about you. It sickens your soul and forces you to think selfishly.

It is a genuine intellectual burden - one that has brought down individuals that could have towered over the masses in sincere servitude to God and his glorious creations. It eliminates love and poisons the heart with numbness - making it forget the blissful beauty of love and the sheer magnitude of intellect. It fools the person making them believe that everything is designed to falter and that nothing has the capacity to love them or care for them because they doubt the blessings God has given them. They question "why would God bless me? I am nothing worthy of blessings, I am just a person with little or no worth."

Pessimism is what breaks the backs of individuals, low self-esteem and poor confidence is the way to a deep black hole - one possibly designed to eat away at the fundamentals the person once held true.

Weak self-esteem, low dignity and weak confidence are not reflected in the persons ability to be extro- or intro-verted; but their ability to hold tight and honor what they genuinely believe in. For me, as a Muslim my principals are as follows:

- a strong belief that justice will prevail and God's wisdom is above all, it may not always be easily understood and one must be patient in pursuing it

- holding true that God does love those who have good intension's and do good deeds and believe in his absoluteness; whether they sin heavily or avoid it - they must be confident that God is guiding and protecting them from what yields no benifit

- holding true to yourself, believing you are someone created for a purpose and that purpose will affect your environment

- holding on to high-spirit, whether the times are Amazing or Miserable, high-tide or low-tide, or if they themselves have messed up chronically for the millionth time

and obviously, the fundamental belief of there is only on God, Allah; Muhammad is his mercy to earth and his messenger, Ali is the one endowed with the responsibility to carry the message forward and that Mohammad al-Mehdi will be the one to bring it back to its genuine path.

these must be held as fundamental truths, not because you are told they are, but you are convinced that they will prevail.

Genuine belief in yourself and genuine confidence is a reflection of those fundamentals you honor and hold true to - if you hold on to them weakly, than you yourself are weak.

Never abide by the laws of pessimism - forever remember by the wisdom of optimism; as unrealistic as it might seem when you've been conditioned to think negatively - it is the only real way to spiritual freedom.

May God forgive me if I've said anything contrary to the Quran and Sunnah.