Sunday, January 25, 2015

Reining in those Crazy Emotions.




I’ve written a fair bit about how you should keep the heart & mind separate when it comes to decision making and understanding how to sort out your life. It makes sense, doesn’t it? But now I’m beginning to think otherwise. I won’t throw my old theories out the window – they’re still valid, but maybe they aren’t as sure footed as I initially thought they were.

As days more forward, I feel that the heart and mind are too heavily intertwined to be separated. There is no possible way to separate your emotions from your thought process. Emotions are strong as they are meant to be. Strong emotions bring people together and make us experience life in the way it was meant to be experienced. Imagine not being able to love deeply or feel sad when someone close passes away?

As crucial as emotions are to driving you to progress they can be equally counterproductive to making progress. We can’t deny that you need to be passionate about something to succeed at it. But being distracted by emotions is a major problem that everyone has had to struggle with.
As I grow, I realize more and more what aspects of my character are dynamic and what aspects are static. I know that I’m an emotional person and realize that situations that stirred my emotions as a teen have a similar effect on me now. Not everything, no; but, many things are the same and I’ve embraced that. However, if I allow these emotions distract me, than they will surely steer me clear of the progress I am determined to make. My determination is emotional – a lack of determination is a lack of passion.

So there’s a complex balancing act that needs to be practiced in order to ensure that you are successful at attaining what you want. When these emotions start, they always furious and aggressive as they need to be. These emotions that are wild and free need to be reined in and managed. However, like an undomesticated animal that is averse to human touch, your emotions will always have the instinct to return to their wild roots. Containing your emotions while still utilizing them in order to achieve your goals seems counter intuitive; but absolutely necessary. The only tool you can use to contain these emotions is your mind. Your quiet time before your day starts and just before it ends are some of the most important moments of the day. Early morning meditation and late evening contemplation are what make your emotions balanced and centered. The idea of meditating before sunrise to set goals as to how you want to behave, perform and react will definitely make your day much more tranquil. On the flip side, reflecting on everything you’ve said and done during the day just before you go to bed will work miracles in controlling your emotions. These tangible practices lie in three spiritual essences; patience, humility & focused thought.

You will fail 100 times before you finally rein in on your emotions and use them to your advantage. But don’t worry, failing is a blessing in disguise if you look hard enough.

Thursday, January 01, 2015

That Gut Feeling You Get



Take a seat in the corner of your room in total silence and contemplate that everyone you meet is either going through something difficult or will experience it at some point in their lives. We have a tendency to think that the world revolves around us and no one really gets how we feel or comprehends our day-to-day struggles. I can promise you that everyone you will ever meet will share a story or situation that you can relate to

They'll share some words of wisdom that will help as you journey on. I find that wisdom plays a very important role in your capacity to articulate your thoughts and feelings. As well, humility is equally important when listening to what sincere people have to say. I stress the word sincere because there are many people you come across that will spew (mostly) rubbish. Therefore, wisdom is to speech what humility is to listening; you cannot be confident in what you have to say unless you've delved into it AND you cannot take anyone else's words seriously unless you have the humility to squash your own preconceived notions.

So in this letter, I will need you to be humble because I am confident that you will not agree with me. What I've experienced is something that defined the next leg of my life's journey and if I didn't listen to my gut, the remainder of my life would be very different.

That gut feeling...

Dear Lord that gut feeling that wakes you up at night and tears apart your insides. That feeling that feels so certain, but sometimes seems so hazy that you have to search for it, although its screaming at you.

That gut feeling...

The sensation you have burning a hole in your abdomen when you absolutely have to make a decision that could possibly direct your next course of action. You're never really sure how it got there and why you feel it, but its there and you have to obey it.

Just recently, I was torn about a decision that it was the central theme to my life for a month. Day and night, I had only one thought in my mind and I had no idea which side to take, my heart, or the....other confusing feeling I sensed in my gut. My heart was screaming yes and the only thing it wanted was to feel fulfilled and content. However, something else started whispering to me, completely throwing off my thoughts and feelings and with each passing day, it got louder and louder.

Over the past several years, I've made decisions and disregarded that voice that whispered and screamed until I eventually felt it burning my gut. I ignored it because I saw it as 'doubt' or 'negativity' and I wanted to take risks and leaps of faith. As far as I was concerned, it was a 'feeling' of doubt and fear; a state of mind I actively avoided.

Or so I thought. I really want to be a risk taker, someone who gets on board with decisions that could possibly change the course of my life for the better. I know that with every major decision has the potential to either set flight or come crashing down. I loved the fact that with every decision, I could possibly become a millionaire, or a family man. I got a rush out of being risky with big decisions; actually, now that I look back at the decisions I failed miserably with, I wouldn't have done them any differently.

Even now, I don't see how my thought process and my reasoning was fallible. It seemed concrete, albeit not a recipe for guaranteed success, it felt logical. However, there was a missing component in the logical reasoning I was using to come to conclusions. I was not factoring in my gut feeling. I brushed it off, the same way I tend to brush off my emotions. I put them both my emotions and my gut into the same damn basket.

So, as the month moved on and as the void between my heart and the 'whisper' became wider, I had to retreat from the rituals of daily life to really contemplate what in God's name was going on inside me. Here I was, poised to make a decision that would affect numerous people for a very long time and I had no idea what to do.

Than I realized, the gut feeling was the only real decision maker in this situation, I just needed to find the courage to pull the trigger.

Ahhhhh courage. Usually a term reserved for hero's - but in essence, it's the energy necessary to do the right thing at the right time. It usually sucks the life right out of you once you finally tap into it. Hollywood has bombarded us with notions that courage comes from big burly men that save countless lives from disaster. However, if you think about it, even saying 'no' takes courage. Saying no has become taboo in fear of being defined as someone who isn't supportive or helpful. But really, it is completely necessary to keep your relationships health (friend, work, lovers, etc.)

So, to add some science to the concept of the gut feeling - I did a little research. It's so perplexing that a sensation in your abdomen is telling you what to do, where does this sensation come from and how does it communicate a positive & negative vibe? Long story - short: it is the collective analysis that your subconscious mind makes over an extended period of time. In our waking hours, our subconscious is working over time picking up bits and pieces of information that our eyes and senses may only 'glance' over. Situations that may seem simple and easy may harbour signs and lessons that we don't see. However, over time, your subconscious is a diligent genius taking notes frantically so when its time to pull that trigger and make a serious decision - you have the right tools to work with.

Now, whenever I have a vivid dream with bizarre symbolism, I always viewed that as my subconscious communicating with me. That's one of the numerous ways it speaks to you. Another way (when your awake) when you need to make that courageous decision on the spot, that's when that gut feeling screams at you. You absolutely have to listen to it. Forget your damn heart and what everyone has told you. Your subconscious has been studying the situation and your surroundings for a while and you need to trust it.

In Arabic, the word heart and turnover come from the same root word. Can you bloody-hell believe that?! Do you know why they do? Because that's what heart's do, they're never consistent. You can love your sweetheart today, and want to kick them in the junk tomorrow. It plays a crucial role in your emotional well being, but is definitely a poor decision maker.

So, for the first time in my life I chose my gut over any other sensation in my body and the sense of peace was overwhelming. I was satisfied & content and nothing in the world can give that to you other than you. With every major decision and and junction in life, you grow by leaps and bounds - to take advantage of that growth, trust your gut.